before this is read, know that i am now in a better space.

have had a couple days to be alone. things i wouldn't let myself get out before, vented.  feel a little cleansed for having written, rested. 

--------------------------------

feel like a ghost in a mirror
looking out at everything
it's all reflecting in me, through me
but i'm not a part of it
i'm disappearing and trapped at once

the only times i feel a part of the world
is when ralph is near
yet i crave solitude
disconnection from what's happening to me

fighting, but not hard enough
disappointed and ashamed
           impermanent

my life isn't sneaking away.
feel it has always been crashing
honing
soaking
washing over me