thunderstorm and rain


in this temple
my heart


red clay or blood
streaming down
washing over
pouring through
cleansing or clotting

get back on that Horse!

alright.  so my Cheerful Discipline took a real nose dive for a few weeks.

pulling my copy off of the shelf, dusting it off, revisiting


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Art_of_Happiness

not that i won't have my bad days, but when i do... 

before this is read, know that i am now in a better space.

have had a couple days to be alone. things i wouldn't let myself get out before, vented.  feel a little cleansed for having written, rested. 

--------------------------------

feel like a ghost in a mirror
looking out at everything
it's all reflecting in me, through me
but i'm not a part of it
i'm disappearing and trapped at once

the only times i feel a part of the world
is when ralph is near
yet i crave solitude
disconnection from what's happening to me

fighting, but not hard enough
disappointed and ashamed
           impermanent

my life isn't sneaking away.
feel it has always been crashing
honing
soaking
washing over me

do you feel the turning in your heart

the burning in your stomach

the churning in your lungs

it is the need for wildness
the hunger for change
the yearning for fresh air
   it is the dream of needing nothing and everything at once

you are your own universe
fear is natural
   but useful

embrace that feeling of falling
   and become more